Insecure and fragile, walking around with a façade of confidence that somehow borders on truth
Ambitiously aiming for goals that feel both increasingly unattainable and just one breakthrough from happening
Meticulously scheduling my days to achieve optimum productivity, then failing miserably to follow it in the name of joy and mental health
Silently suffering with the screaming thoughts running through my head every minute of every day
Tiptoeing through experiences trying to relish in life's brief moments of happiness so they're not overshadowed by darkness
Repeating my mantra over and over again, hoping that if I hear it enough, I'll believe it
Everything will be okay in the end
Stiff fingers with unmanicured nails clicking and clacking away on an old keyboard, writing words that your own loved ones won't read
Stiff joints clicking and cracking with every movement I make while I muster the best smile that hides my pain
Everything will be okay in the end
Damaris Chanza, my name on a byline and an about the author section is the dream, the goal but not at the cost of my sanity
Optimistically I know my words are laced with hyperbole, and my smile shines brighter today than it ever has in the past
Ultimately rediscovering my happiness after a fit of distress is an extraordinary feeling
That sigh of relief when the storm has passed brings truth to "everything will be okay in the end"